Embodying Strength Through Gentleness
Jan 17
Dear brilliant reader,
I hope all is well in your world. This post was actually inspired by my dear friend Therese Miu. She wrote a blogpost titled Better than Resolutions: My 3 words for 2010 Love Action Bridge, which I love! Therese’s post got me thinking of 3 words that help frame my thinking and also guide me in my personal actions. These are the words that would be guiding principles above my actual goals for this year.
After a moment of contemplation, one of the words that kept coming up to me was WATER.
Water – Embodiment of Strength through Gentleness
Water is a basic element that comprises around 75% of the world’s surface, and also our physical body. And to me, water is a powerful metaphor of the embodiment of strength through gentleness…
Waterfall at Milford Sound, New Zealand. Photo by Andre
In its liquid phase, water follows the shape of its container, and goes through the smallest cracks… yet it has the strength to overcome any obstacles. Over eons it has the ability to carve through solid stone and marble, yet it manifests itself so gently as morning dew on the lush green grass… reflecting the morning sun like diamonds before it finally evaporates again.
Photo by higetiger
Just picture giant ocean waves during a storm and you’ll have no doubt that water is immensely powerful, with the ability to obliterate everything on its way. Yet it nurtures life in this planet by being what it is, quenching the thirst of countless living beings, and it flows down the little stream in the woods… gently. Water flows to the lowest place, and in order to experience it you can’t just grab a handful but instead you must relax and lightly place your fingers inside of it…
Photo by 12163936@N03
Personally I enjoy being a gentle person, and it has always been my nature since I was little – with only a few exceptions, mostly when I was younger and yet to learn the consequences of wallowing in anger 
. More and more in my own life now, I value ‘allowing’ more than ‘controlling’. I found that when I allow people to be who they are, to do things their way, more often than not they will do the ‘right’ thing to achieve the desired outcome. In the past I often try to get them to conform to my way of doing things, which turned out to be counter-productive and caused the whole experience less pleasant. I don’t know about you, but I found this philosophy of gently allowing works much better in most situations. I love it because the result is immediate: the feeling of inner peace.
See if you can choose allowing rather than controlling. When you allow people to be who they are, to do things their way, more often than not they will do the right thing and achieve the desired outcome.
In our society we have been conditioned to associate strength with hardness. After all, we can see that when we work out, we get firmer muscles and the firmer the muscles, the tougher we think we are. Another example when hardness is valued more would be the way we think of diamond, compared to soft minerals like volcanic ash, which crumbles in our hands. Associating strength with hardness is not wrong, in fact it is completely valid. However, there is another notion that is at least equally valid. That strength can also be embodied through gentleness… and I feel that water is a perfect metaphor for this.
Living the Watercourse Way
Speaking of gentleness, I remember this verse of the Tao Te Ching, where Lao Tzu invites us to change the way we view hardness…
43rd Verse of the Tao Te Ching
The softest of all things
overrides the hardest of all things.
That without substance enters where there is no space.
Hence I know the value of nonaction.Teaching without words,
performing without actions –
few in the world can grasp it –
That is the master’s way.
Rare indeed are those
who obtain the bounty of this world.~from Change Your Thought, Change Your Life (Wayne Dyer’s interpretation of the Tao Te Ching)
The Tao Te Ching is full of parallels to nature, and in fact the pure essence of the teachings seems to be to help us become Tao-inspired sages through oneness with the environment. Water is used symbolically in many references of Taoism such as Alan Watts’ Tao: The Watercourse Way. To live gently is to live the watercourse way…
Photo by snaps11
How do you live by applying the principle of the watercourse way?
In his book, Wayne Dyer encourages us to:
- Introduce a soft, non-action style to your life. Practice the way of non-action, or performing without effort. By letting go of your inner drive to push ahead, you’ll see that you ironically do better than when you tried so hard. Soften your attitude and behavior in your work, and you’ll see customers and opportunities are attracted to you. Why is that so? Because you are allowing the perfect flow of the Tao! Notice how your life changes as you change the way you look at it.
- Encourage desires to freely flow in your imagination. Consider what you’ve wanted to have in this life (prosperity, health, success, great relationships etc) as if it’s behind a locked door. Then imagine yourself flowing like water through the barrier of that locked room… do it softly, gently, and silently in your mind. As you allow gentleness to be part of your life, the hard way will soften. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said this about the condition of Inspiration: “Marry nature, don’t use her for pleasure”.
Parting Words
Wow you have read this far, my friend! As a small token of thanks, I’d like to share one of my favourite songs… a song I know by heart, a song I grew up with during my junior high school years in the 80s, by a Filipino singer, Jose Mari Chan. It is from his album Constant Change. The title of the song is “Be Gentle” and I played the song on piano this morning especially for you my brilliant reader, in case you’d like to sing along.
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Be Gentle
Jose Mari ChanBe gentle, be gentle,
And all the world is yours
A river flowing home to sea
You shall be.Be strong and know your heart
Protect the small, the weak,
And love like morning rain shall fall
On a song.There is no peace
In an angry heart
The wise know the truth
There is no power stronger
Than gentleness of heart.Beneath the waters and the rock will turn the sand
It took a wounded man to show the world
That if we want to live
We must forgiveOh, Lord the night is long,
The dawn cannot be far
When gentle winds of peace
Fill every heart.A river flowing home to sea,
I shall be.
Live gently, my friend. Allow, allow, allow. See for yourself how your life changes when you embody strength through gentleness. Let your life flow… row your boat gently down the stream.
Peace & Blessings,
Andre
What a loving post!!!~!
I read blogs all day long and rarely does it hit my heart directly the way yours did today. I thank you for this. To write about water is indeed very precious. You were very eloquent in your writing. Thanks for radiating the water essence so beautifully.
I appreciate it when you reminded us to “allow” and by simply allowing we achieve inner peace. It is so true! My intention this week was to simply trust and surrender. Everything is working out in highest good when we simply “let go” and let the Universe do its job.
I also want to tell you how GREAT ALL your PICTURES are in here.
I can’t wait for your next post already.
You are such a brilliant writer. keep up your amazing work Andre!
Love Always
.-= Therese Miu´s last blog ..Better than Resolutions: My 3 words for 2010 Love Action Bridge =-.
Therese, a heartfelt thanks for your lovely comment! If it were not your post about the “3 words”, I would have written on a totally different topic. I am deeply grateful for the inspiration you provided! Water is my element so in many ways I feel drawn to it…
I love how you put trust and surrender as your intention this week, Therese. It is my intention also because life is infinitely more enjoyable when we are able to let go instead of trying to control everything and arguing with reality (suffering by wanting things and people to be different than what they are).
Byron Katie said it best:
When you argue with reality, you lose but only 100% of the time.
Glad you like the pics! The 1st one was the only one I took personally, during my cruise at Milford Sound at the South Island mid last year. The rest were Creative Commons pics from Flickr… there are so many talented photographers out there!!
Keep shining and inspiring us all, Therese!
Love & Blessings,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Embodying Strength Through Gentleness =-.
I loved how you recognized the photographers. I’ll make sure to do the same. Thanks for teaching me. And I have been a big fan of Jose Mari Chan. Thanks for the wonderful music at the end. It flowed in natural order.
Thank YOU!
.-= Therese Miu´s last blog ..Better than Resolutions: My 3 words for 2010 Love Action Bridge =-.
Didn’t know you’re a fan of JMC too, Therese
… I first knew about him from my mom, who raved about him after she came back from a visit to the Philippines around mid-late 1980s. I’ve been a fan ever since.
Will send you a message re: how to find the photos etc.
Thanks for your generous support, Therese!
Love & Blessings,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Embodying Strength Through Gentleness =-.
Andre,
Beautiful, beautiful post.
It really touched my heart reading about it
and I felt myself becoming softer even by reading it.
For me personally when you said.
“…when I allow people to be who they are,
to do things their way, more often than not
they will do the ‘right’ thing to achieve
the desired outcome.”
This is so true b/c we cannot change anyone
but ourselves. Usually when we allow people
to express themselves and be them it creates
immediate inner peace for ourselves. This is especially great
to do with people you are close to. In essence
doing this puts limitations on others (even loved one)
and it turn it limits us too.
Thank you for the wonderful post again.
Have a wonderful day!
Thérèse
.-= Thérèse´s last blog ..HAITI: 10 Creative Ways To Give =-.
Thérèse, thanks so much for dropping by and sharing your thoughts here, I’m truly honored.
It is so true what you said, not allowing people to be themselves puts limitations on others as well as ourselves. Especially with our loved ones, often without realizing it we have very clear idea on what they should or should not do (in essence, we’re not comfortable in letting them being who they are). I believe each person has their own lesson to learn in their life, and our interfering ‘unwisely’ can prevent that learning from happening.
Thank you again for your wonderful comment!
Have an abundantly blessed day,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Don’t Even Try to Build a Network! =-.
What a beautiful post Andre. When I was floating at the hotsprings over New Year, I was inspired to live this year in practice of surrender. I have so many dreams and goals, and I wanted to push and push and push myself forward. But this year, I would like to master the art of surrender. Just like Wayne Dyer’s quote says above, “introduce a soft, non-action style to your life. Practice the way of non-action, or performing without effort. By letting go of your inner drive to push ahead, and allowing the perfect flow of the Tao!”. This year, this is exactly what I want to open up to, to experience, and to live by and just embrace the perfect flow of the Tao. Always knowing that everything is perfect, and in harmony. Thank you for the reminder again. Sometimes I do get out of synch, and my brain wants to drive in full speed towards a lot of goals and check lists and dreams and visions and everything else that I want to accomplish and fulfill. I still am moving towards the goal and the dreams and the vision. But I don’t have to drive in full speed and risk a collision. Instead, I can just float in water and allow the water moves me effortlessly. Thank you sooo much Andre for the inspiration.
In profound gratitude,
Erlina
Lina! Thanks so much for dropping by here. It’s great to hear you’re inspired to live this year in practice of surrender… Surrendering is really a process of remembering again who we really are, to be back in the flow of life again. It’s like trading a lifetime of ‘striving’, with ‘arriving’. When the brain and the heart (the spiritual heart) works synergistically, as opposed to brain dominating all the time, we can tap in that state of inner peace while still being able to function in this physical world – doing whatever our purpose is in this planet!
There are 3 words I got from my Reiki Tummo training, which I always keep in mind: Smile, Relax, and Surrender. When we can surrender completely to the Divine will of this moment… that’s when we are one with our essence!
Love & Blessings,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Embodying Strength Through Gentleness =-.
You have shared an excellent metaphor about how we should deal with life. For many years I have been blind to the true nature of man. I have found that most of us are living life blindly and unconsciously, by this I mean we are not aware that we are living on instincts and reaction rather than reason and analysis.
The very nature of water is that it never counters, it goes with the flow and never resists any force that are thrown upon it. This should be our approach in life. Instead of resisting, instead of complaining, instead of cursing, we should allow life to unfold because it carries with it lessons that we need to learn.
We are more than our organic form, in each of us resides a being far beyond the limitations of this physical existence. We only need to find it within ourselves.
Walter, thank you for sharing your thoughts here – I am honored. As you said, most of us are living unconsciously, feeling ‘stuck in a rut’, reacting the same programmed reaction again and again. It is only when we become aware that it is not event or circumstance, but our reaction to it that causes suffering, and think + act accordingly, that we start to feel a glimpse of inner peace. And by emulating water in dealing with life, this experience of inner peace can be a more dominant state.
I agree wholeheartedly with what you say… that in each of us resides a being far beyond the limitations of this physical existence. Our True Self is powerful beyond measure. We’ve simply been seduced and conditioned to believe otherwise. I think eventually each of us will awake to who we really are… it’s just a matter of ‘when’.
Peace & Blessings,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Don’t Even Try to Build a Network! =-.
Andre… thank you again. I can use all the inspirations for surrendering. I really like that…arriving instead of striving. Surrender is such a scary zone for me, and I’m called to it this year. Smile, Relax and Surrender. Ahhhhhh….. if I may, I will use that as my mantra. Whenever I feel tightness, resistance, stress, stuck in my brain and thoughts, worry, overdoing, over thinking, over planning,… I will just smile, relax and surrender.
Btw, I just came back from Therese Miu’s house, who lives just a short 10 minutes away from me. We were giggling because somehow, on this very post, you have attracted me, Therese Miu, and Therese Cator from the other side of the world, and the three of us are actually close personal friends. The power of like energy attracting one another is like magic. I am thankful to have you in my life.
your friend,
Erlina
Lina, yeah it still amazes me too
… and I am deeply grateful to have connected with lovely souls like you 3!
Of course you can use Smile, Relax, and Surrender as your ‘mantra’ if you like. When you smile, smile to your (spiritual) heart… and let your heart smile to all beings! No need to worry about how, just intend it! I love this simple exercise as for me it causes really nice feeling of expansion in my heart!
Love & Gratitude,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Embodying Strength Through Gentleness =-.
Absolutely beautiful post, thanks so much for the well written and insightful article! I hope you don’t mind but I am linking to this article on my own blog http://wholepersonbalancedlife.blogspot.com I wanted my readers to be able to click on the link and come to your page and read this lovely article. Thanks again.
Wow thank you so much Lisa, of course you can link to this article on your blog. I am honored! Glad you like the article
.
Love & Gratitude,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Don’t Even Try to Build a Network! =-.
Hi There Andre
Thanks for the reminder of surrender, and letting the gentleness take its natural course. When you apply force only so much can happen, but when you surrender your ideas unforced to the universe the results are much more gratifying. The Piece from the great Lao Tzu is amazing. Your blog on being like water reminded me of the late Bruce Lee’s water interview. Learning to give in, is not an easy task, but being able to acknowledge the option is a wonderful start.
thanks for your time and message, have wonderful week Jeff Miu
Hi Jeff, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here. I love that Bruce Lee interview, never seen it before! You’re right, learning to surrender and allow is not an easy task, given how most of us were conditioned to think… but an awareness is a wonderful start.
Peace and Blessings,
Andre
Andre, I am absolutely stunned and enlightened by your writing brother. Absolutely gorgeous post. You’re piano playing is amazing as well. Believe it or not this post just flowed through me. The message was calming and clear as is your positive flowing energy. Thank you to Therese for making me aware of it! The part that resonates with me the most, “And to me, water is a powerful metaphor of the embodiment of strength through gentleness…” You are amazing my friend. This is an amazing message of love & strength. Sharing it as we speak
.-= Tony Teegarden´s last blog ..What I Let You See Is What You Get =-.
A sincere thank you for the encouragement Tony, I am humbled by your kindness and generosity! From the first time I heard your story in Joe’s audio book, you never cease to inspire me
.
Thank you again, my friend.
Love & Gratitude,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Embodying Strength Through Gentleness =-.
Thanks for writing this great post. Your analogy to attaining everything you want behind a locked door by transforming yourself into water made me say wow. This is my first time visiting your blog and I appreciate it’s sincerity.
-Your Friend
Karl City Sylvester
.-= Karl City Sylvester´s last blog ..Part 1: Round House Kick Your Personal Brand into Action! =-.
Karl, thank you for visiting my blog and for your kind comment. That analogy to attaining everything you want behind locked door by transforming yourself into water was from Wayne Dyer’s wonderful book “Change Your Thought, Change Your Life”… I also think it’s a very powerful analogy!
Peace and Blessings,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Embodying Strength Through Gentleness =-.
Wow Andre! Fantastic post. The world definitely needs to hear this message. Very powerful in a gentle way. Powerful metaphor using nature. That is one of the best ways to teach. How the universe does anything is how it does everything. =)
The concept of allowing versus controlling and being versus doing is a great message for all of us. Most people are in a controlling and doing mode.
Thank you for this subtle reminder. I can remember from my experiences that if I force something, it rarely works out and areas that works flows easily.
I believe there is a balance. I was at a lecture by Dr. Masaru Emoto who wrote “The Hidden Messages in Water” and his photos of water crystals were featured in “What the Bleep Do We Know!?”
He stated there’s about a 2:1 ratio of passive energy (allowing) to active energy (controlling). If you look at the earth and our bodies we are roughly 70% water (soft, gentle) and 30% land, bones, tissues (hard). If you look at water, it’s 2 parts Hydrogen (Passive) and 1 part Oxygen (Active)
I’ve been experimenting and seem to find this true. It’s a great balance between the school of Law of Attraction and the school of Massive Action.
There’s some backlash with Law of Attraction that if you visualize it and ask the universe, it will come even without action. It’s the action that demonstrates faith and belief that you will receive it.
Wonderful post! Andre, you have a great balance of taking action (writing this post, putting of the pictures) and allowing things, people to come into your life.
Thank you for this gift!
Eiji
.-= Eiji Morishita´s last blog ..Inner Evolution for World Transformation =-.
Eiji, a sincere thanks for dropping by and sharing your insight here. I also love Dr.Masaru Emoto’s great work. Thanks for sharing that info about the ratio of allowing and controlling, and the balance of Law of Attraction and the school of Massive Action.
I think observing nature is a good way of understanding our so called ‘reality’, which I believe is a construct or matrix that is governed by different ‘laws’ which is kinda like computer ‘programs’. The way I see it, the more we understand about these laws and are in tune with them rather than against them, the more we can live effortlessly. Although, I believe this level of ‘reality’ is ultimately an illusion too…
In my opinion, Law of Attraction is one of those laws that if correctly applied will give a predictable result every time (otherwise it is not a law!)… but due to the bite-sized nature of much of information out there, people often only do the asking and visualizing part and then complain it didn’t work… forgetting that it needs to be followed by taking inspired action (trusting the inner nudges and do the next thing before you) and letting go! Well that’s my understanding of it at this point in time anyway, and I’m just glad to take one baby step at a time!
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, Eiji.
Peace and Blessings,
Andre
.-= Andre Sumara´s last blog ..Embodying Strength Through Gentleness =-.